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That meant accepting everything at face value and not asking questions."It introduces a lack of accountability for his actions," Pam Shaffer, LMFT, tells Bustle."Given a sociopath's lack of empathy and manipulative nature, it makes this behavior doubly effective."Sociopaths are great at putting on a public face, when it suits them.When we were with a group of people my Socio curated, he was instantly the center of attention, carrying on conversations with a toastmaster-like zeal.So imagine my surprise when I’d introduce him to my friends (aka people he wasn’t trying to bring under his spell) and he’d simply shut down.What I would have never believed at the time was I was being conditioned.If I “wasn’t like all the other women” I had to act the role, right?Denying what they're clearly doing is called gaslighting, and it's an incredibly damaging practice."The Gaslight Effect happens over time, gradually, and often, by the time you are deep into the Gaslight Tango, you are not the same strong self you used to be," writes Robin Stern, Ph. "In fact, your ego function has been compromised, and no longer being certain of your reality, you are not often able to accurately identify when something is 'off' with your partner."The sociopath mindset is fascinating.
If they’re not, it becomes much harder to exert control.It got to the point where he had me convinced I was the only one who could see the real him, the person in between the two extremes.One of the best parts of being in a relationship is knowing that someone has your back.Generally, they believe they are smarter than everyone else, and because of that, life is set up to punish them. If every story features them one-upping someone (at any cost) or how they were thwarted (by cruel forces clearly out to get them) they may be subtly revealing their worldview."The sense of entitlement that comes with sociopathy is astonishing to those who abide by the social laws and conventions of our culture," writes Seth Myers (no, not that one) in his Psychology Today article "Understanding the Sociopath." "It stems from an underlying sense of rage.Listen to the way your partner talks about themselves. Sociopaths feel deeply angry and resentful underneath their often-charming exterior, and this rage fuels their sense that they have the right to act out in whichever way they happen to choose at the time.