Dating talking points

Your date may have a local park he/she frequents or a European city that’s been a regular destination. After the introduction and awkward hug, this opening question should follow. Does the bartender know to bring a gin and tonic to the table before you order? Wouldn’t “Cheers” be a great place for a first date? His or her list could include travel plans, career goals, personal milestones, or adrenaline-junkie adventures. Instead of prying into past heartaches and failures, give him or her an opportunity to share struggles any way he/she so chooses.Learning where your partner likes to go will provide insight into the person’s tastes and temperament. Though it might not lead to a long conversation, it does help you understand their personality. Or he or she could just be psyching herself up to finally try escargot. What toppings are needed to create the perfect burger? What obstacles does he/she define as the ‘hardest’? Even if the answer is a fun one, try to appreciate how strength was shown in weakness.

And while you shouldn’t prescribe too many expectations before happy hour, a bit of prep work is recommended.But you’re likely to get valuable insight from the person who answers —from traveling and their children to rock climbing or their church — that give you insight into their value system. No matter where they are in the career ladder, chances are your date will have at least one unusual or intriguing job to tell you about.Follow up with questions about why the person become so passionate about this particular endeavor or emphasis. Which will give you a chance to share about your own most fascinating work experience.This doesn’t mean — of course — that you should automatically avoid someone who had a difficult upbringing. This question gets to the core of a person’s being.But you do want the assurance that the individual has insight into his or her family background and has sought to address lingering wounds and unhealthy patterns. If the individual responds with “I dunno,” that might be a red flag that he or she isn’t passionate about anything.

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