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I talked around it, mumbling about how I was trying to figure out who I was or whatever. Like the ones who — even after I’d been dating their daughter for six months — kept thinking I was from Puerto Rico. Or the ones who said upon meeting me, “Oh, I love ‘Buena Vista Social Club.’”Yeah, for sure, that’s a great movie, but so is “Gladiator.”And the ones who asked me if I speak Mexican. So is the father who opened the door and said, “Sorry, it’s not taco night,” and then closed it in my face, only to open it again because he was “just joking.”I’ve been with people in grocery stores who point to the dulce de leche and say, “Look, Chris, that’s you.” Actually, I’m lactose intolerant.

But the real reason I think I can no longer date white women isn’t any of that.

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First, some history: When I was a child, watching my pops get ready to go out was something to behold.

He would spend hours preparing his mask every morning for whatever crowd, person or community he faced.

He was married now and no longer had to be “chosen.” But habits ingrained in adolescence can be hard to break. I hadn’t thought about why that was, but when some brown and black people in my community started giving me a hard time about dating white women, I sensed they’d be happier if I stopped.

So early on I learned how important it was to be “chosen,” selected. It’s been a year since I broke up with my girlfriend, and I haven’t told her the real reason. I also got weird vibes from some white people, namely the parents of the women I was dating.

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