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At 47, Derkson has no kids, and has never been married — nor is she desperate to get hitched. People are cold.” While living in Florida a few years ago, she was turning men away.“I think the Latin culture in Florida really helps; people are warm, men smile at you on the street. Men here, they don’t even turn their head to look at you.”Back in Vancouver, she just wishes that when she smiles at someone on the street, they would smile back.
She’d be happy with just a little more warmth and sensuality. Rachel Fox, a 34-year-old writer, says her experiences of meeting men in other cities, like New York, where she used to live, are incredibly different than in Vancouver: “The pool is a lot bigger there.
I’m not even going to contact you because I’m too ordinary.”Lessard may see himself as ordinary, but he’s got a great dating resume: A stable career that allows him to work from home, a funky casual style, is open to having kids and if you have kids, that’s okay too.
Throw in the French accent and the wry sense of humour, and Lessard just might be the total package. “Some women here have a really unrealistic vision of what a man is supposed to be.
I don’t think it’s fair or accurate to blame the city.
If someone turns you down, just don’t take it personally.
The conversation about the impossibility of finding man-love in Lotus Land ricochets between raucous laughter and thoughtful reflection until the table goes silent and the subject finally sinks, like a stone thrown in an impossibly dark wishing well.“This is not a lighthearted issue,” says Jodi Derkson.
The women at the back table of the Bottleneck bar on Granville Street are a cluster of long locks, funky accessories, a mix of tanned and fair, naturally athletic bodies and discreetly dabbed lip gloss.Because Vancouver doesn’t have that dating mechanism, it’s awkward for people to ask each other out.”Many of the men he’s worked with find Vancouver women to be intimidating.Sebastien Lessard, 37, who came to Vancouver from Quebec City seven years ago, can attest to the intimidation factor.Guys have a hard time, too Ron Lee, 36, a marketer who ran a dating coaching service for many years in Vancouver, agrees that it’s tough to make a connection in this city.“Vancouver is the hardest city to date in in North America. In Edmonton, Toronto, Calgary there is a much higher chance that people will come out just to meet you for a coffee, just for the social aspect.